Review by Bubbles
The Sportsheets Sex Sling is an interesting little contraption for use in the missionary position. Being new to sex toys, I’m not sure if sling is a universal term for this accessory so I’ll explain to you how it works. There are 2 ankle cuffs connected by long straps that meet together in the middle with a padded strip that sits behind your neck. Lying on your back and placing the strip behind your neck, forces your legs to fan out, spread-eagle in the air. On either side of the padded neck rest, you can pull the straps tighter to bring your legs closer to your face.
The box depicts the straps as being adjusted at the ankles, but the straps are actually pulled tighter from the sides of the neck rest, which I think makes them more easily accessible and convenient. The material the cuffs and neck rest are made from is like a soft foam padding. The cuffs have Velcro closures and the whole thing is held together with thin, seatbelt-like strap.
My personal experience with the sling was a bit clunky and humorous. On my first go with it, I was rushed for time. I was a bit overly excited to try it out so I threw it on quickly. Don’t rush this toy. It’s not meant for quickies. I pulled the straps on this baby way too tight, bringing my feet too close to my face and making it uncomfortable. The straps are easy to tighten but not nearly as easy to loosen while you are going at it. I recommend taking it slow and allowing some time to pre-adjust the straps at a comfortable position before starting. It really shouldn’t take much time at all, but it’s definitely important.
My second time with the sling, my buddy was being impatient and we got started before putting it on. Mistake number 2. This sling is not easy to get into while you’re in the act. Again, slow down, take time to prep. If you don’t pull the straps even on each side, your legs will force the neck strip out of place so it will no longer be behind your neck. Whichever side you pull shorter will bring the neck piece closer to it, leaving the thin strap digging into the back of your neck. Not super fun.
Because I was fumbling to get this thing on, we paused. I got myself into it and scooted my butt to the edge of the bed so he could stay standing. Well, here’s where this story gets a little too personal. The sling puts us ladies in the perfect position for air to flow right up our fancy little flower. Surely you can guess where this is going. I wish there was a less vulgar sounding word for it, but I guess there is nothing else to call it. I queefed. Loudly and multiple times. Then I rolled over and died in a fit of embarrassed laughter. You've been warned!
So of course we didn’t let this stop us and got back to it. Finally we were using it properly. Kind of. Missionary is one of our go to positions, but my buddy likes to lean right up close to my face a lot of the time. It defeats the purpose of the sling a little bit to do this, because it forces your legs out of place. Luckily, you can still easily bend your legs with the sling on. With your legs out stretched, the sling holds them nicely in place, but it’s also nice to be able to bend them if you need to. I did notice the neck rest being a bit tricky to keep in place when moving your head forward, but just tilting your head back a bit will slip it right back where it needs to be.
Now I will admit, the sling is probably going to take a bit more practice on my part, but it’s made from quality materials and truly is a helpful way to keep your legs stationary, making it is less fatiguing to hold them up. I wouldn’t steer anyone away from buying it. Just be sure to take some tips from my mistakes so your experience can be a better one.
Check out the Sportsheets Sex Sling for yourself.
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Bubbles is a twenty something customer service representative, living alone with her small dog in a new apartment. This fashion and arts lover is sex toy novice looking to broaden her creative prowess through sexual experimentation.